Lo and behold! You, dear reader, have been fortunate enough to discover the best place on these here interwebz for informative, quality, uncensored reviews for everything from Google Play Store applications to…. well… that’s pretty much it. Just app reviews. You know damn well that the reviews within Play Store are about as reliable as a plastic slinky bought with 500 Chuck E. Cheez tickets- thing’s busted before it hits the floor. Half the reviews on there were written by poor, malnourished children under the coercion of gunpoint, and the other half were posted by robots. Are you going to trust the opinion of a robot, ladies and gentlemen? The day we as human beings, allow our opinions to be swayed by machines, is the day that we’ve lost our souls. Maybe Terminator was a work of fiction, but I’m pretty sure it was based real events… possibly. If even a sliver of the events in that film were true, then we should all be preparing for the day that Skynet uses our own nuclear weapons against us. Hey, I’m doing my part by writing real reviews on Android apps- what are you doing? You are either with us (the good guys), or against us.

I think it’s pretty clear what needs to be done, people. Support the survival of the human race by donating whatever you can afford. Keep me from starving to death, so we can persevere in this epic battle of Man vs. Machine!

You know… ironically, all of this was made possible by the modern wonders of technology, fueled by automated computers and the vast, interconnected network of self-sufficient machines. Nevertheless, we are but a mere one or two corporate/military R&D-experiments-gone-wrong from the Singularity. The end is nigh, peeps!*

*Disclaimer: the end is not actually nigh