Optimizing my Freedom

So as many addicts do, I have been fighting sobriety tooth and nail at great length much to everyone’s bewilderment. I know there are like a billion articles on the benefits of sobriety, and they serve a purpose for those who wish live that type of normal lifestyle. By any logical sentiment, I cannot argue against living a clean, psychoactive substance-free lifestyle. That is the natural way to travel this journey- which is inherently difficult without adding layers of complexity that most reasonable people deem unnecessary. Many even assign the notion of immorality to the use of mind altering substances. Honestly, I can’t fault those who think that way because for years in the US we’ve been propagandized to adhere to that line of thinking. Also, I’d be lying if I said there weren’t a host of addicts out there who wouldn’t hesitate to step on your well-being to get their next fix. I would argue that there are just as many addicts that respect others and maintain a code of morality such that they don’t try to make their addiction anyone else’s problem. Conversely, I think it’s safe to say that there is a proportionally similar size of the population who do not use any substances, who would just as soon disregard others’ rights to benefit themselves. I have witnessed such actions time and time again throughout my career supporting that case by observing ass-kissers and pyschopaths excel in the workplace at the expense of others. That’s people doing what they do, unfortunately; often we don’t need any outside motivation other than those incentives which manifest naturally to inflict damage on one another.

My purpose here isn’t to justify the use of drugs, but to explain one facet of the addict’s rationale. What am I, some sort of an expert? You might say that, rabbit, you might.

First of all, I just don’t like being told what to do. Have I sacrificed nearly all of my financial success to live by that principle? Yes… but what is money anyways? A carrot that is dangled before us in portion-controlled doses, ultimately used by those in power to manipulate us peons into building their legacy while we act as an expendable resource? I am a pretty accommodating dude, willing to help my fellow man (and even woman) to a reasonable extent within my capabilities; but when other humans are deliberately trying to manipulate my values, or believe they “own” me because of some wack precedent established with no input nor agreement from me, that’s where I start to fall out of line. Maybe some person or group of people a thousand miles away from me think I shouldn’t be allowed to poison myself in a very specific way- yet allow other arguably worse and more socially problematic methods to plague society- but I never agreed to those ludicrous conditions. I think it unjust that one would charge other humans with enforcing their beliefs and declare that they have imaginary powers over those who disagree with their will. What makes those powers “official”? Can I form a gang and start making declarations of law pertaining to personal life decisions of all the people living within the abstract borders of a geographical area? Does anyone else understand how absolutely fucking asinine that sounds!?

Yes, I know that’s an over-simplification of the issue, but at its core, that is the heart of the issue, and why I oppose the precedent that’s been status quo for too long. One person can’t make a change when the argument is for getting high; but when the argument is to quit wasting our nation’s pooled taxes on imprisoning a large portion of the population who made a choice not in adherence with “officially prescribed” bullshit guidelines- then that argument starts to make sense.

Then again I could just be some asshole trying to justify his own use.

6 Replies to “Optimizing my Freedom”

  1. How about the fact that by you choosing to poison yourself you are hurting your family and friends by making them watch you slowly die a little everyday? Or maybe your wife who never agreed to for her husband to commit slow suicide before her eyes while she stood by and watched? How about your child? Stop thinking only in the selfish ways of yourself and your fix!


    1. You must not have read my blog intro, as I’m not too keen on one human being casting judgement on another. This seems like an issue that has hit pretty close to home for you, random person I don’t know, so let’s entertain your thoughts. First of all, I’m assuming that since you’ve deemed yourself righteous enough to pass these judgements upon me that you yourself are completely free from trespassing upon your significant other’s notion of what should or should not exist in a marriage between two adults? In other words, is it safe to say that you don’t partake in any unhealthy activity in which you- as you’ve put it- commit slow suicide before his eyes while he stood by and watched? Examples that come to mind off the top of my head would be I don’t know, smoking cigarettes- which is the very definition of a slow drawn out suicide, with the statistics to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt. 87% of smokers die early, in fact, please check this link:
      I’m not quite sure what the stats are for my vice, but it would be pretty tough to beat a statistically proven 87%. I wouldn’t play Russian roulette with those odds, but you don’t smoke, do you? It would make your comment seem more like fluff, than anything substantial if that were the case.


      1. I don’t need to read your intro to know exactly the kind of person you are. You believe that you aren’t like the other junkies around you, you believe you’ve got this. You believe when you tell yourself that this is gonna stop, that you can stop. When really deep down you know you’re just as big a piece of shit as those whom you speak ill of. You’re correct I smoke and it’s my spouse who drives me to it and if you had read my blog I do participate in illegal activities, again my spouse drives me to it. When your spouse is constantly in la la land oblivious to the world around him and there are things that NEED to be done, got to do something to keep up with everything. As far as my smoking killing me, well I dare say that my spouse’s bullshit and all the stress laid on me will drive me into the coffin and hammer the nails first. Allow me to quote for you the statistics from my state “769 opioid-related overdose deaths­­­ in Arizona—a rate of 11.4 deaths per 100,000 persons, compared to the national rate of 13.3 deaths per 100,000 persons.” My spouse also thinks that a marriage should be not a partnership but more of I’ll do what I want but you won’t and when you’re convenient for me I’ll let you know. He don’t really give a fuck about anyone or anything but himself and his habits.


      2. Wait a second, so you partake in illegal activities also? I’m failing to see how any of the statements you somehow feel compelled to blurt out in the comment section of my blog could not also be applied to you as well. I also think it’s deliciously ironic that you project your own shortcomings onto others. To clarify here, you are assuming that I believe I’m “not like other junkies around me” while you are a junkie yourself. I’d venture to guess that you think you aren’t a junkie… but yet you are under the influence of an illegal substance that you haven’t been able to quit? I’m sorry you lose what little credibility you are given as a token of human decency when you attempt to insult people or share your judgements nobody asked for when you have all the same traits of the person you are judging! Are there any other personal problems that you would like to blame others for? I mean, aside from your husband driving you to do things that you have no control over as an adult? Does it ever get exhausting being a helpless victim? Since you were so gracious enough to spew unsolicited opinions out into a public forum, allow me to return the favor: you should strive to take responsibility for your own actions and release yourself from the role of victim. You sound very unhappy with life and your current situation. I’m sure if you start concerning yourself with the things you have the power to change, and less with the things you don’t, you might actually start to enjoy life. Hey best of luck with everything.


      3. Before I go into reading what BS you have decided to jot down let me clarify the definition of Junkie for you “Generally, junkie (in terms of drug abuse) applies to someone addicted to a narcotic– such as heroin, morphine, opium, codeine, and methadone.” None of those apply to myself, I do not touch Heroin and I do not touch needles.


      4. O sweetie drop the act. You and I both know that you’re the selfish asshat who’s driving me into my grave and you know it. You and I both know you’re sorry and I don’t mean sorry for your actions. There is no victim here. Also I am unhappy you’ve got that right, I’d love to get back to enjoying my life but sadly I have to be around your miserable self everyday and watch how you live in some far off land away from the fucking reality down here on Earth!


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